


Ways To Say I Love You

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Fluff & Angst [185]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-27 09:32:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9998213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Hux knows many.





	

Hux can’t say it for a long time, even though he wants to. 

First, he’s not sure what he’s feeling is actually love. He’s had ‘love’ affairs before, and he’s had people he enjoys the company of, too. But is it love? When does it stop being fondness? Does Kylo even want love, or just very vigorous sex, and companionable times around it? Do you need to be in love to watch holos and cuddle? What if he’s just looking for that, and not any long-term commitment? What if he thinks Hux is weak and pathetic for thinking he might be? Or tell him his love isn’t real, is just infatuation? 

These things worry him for some time. 

Kylo never says it, so Hux follows suit. 

But he feels it. It grows inside him, with every passing day. He feels it when he’s watching Kylo sleep peacefully, when Hux wakes in the middle of the night. He feels it when he sees the big man playing so gently with his little cat. Feels it when they’re talking work on the bridge. Feels it when Kylo is training and he just wishes he was close. Not even to do anything, just to be close. Feels it worst of all when he’s away, and there’s a chance he might not come home. 

It has to be love. It makes him giddy, dizzy, happy, and terrified. Hux has never felt so much, so fast, so deeply. There’s no other word for it, and it doesn’t ever let up. Even when Kylo irritates the life out of him, he feels it, underneath. 

Without words, he finds new ways to say it. He’ll get meals designed for Kylo’s tastes, some days. He learns how to appreciate the action holos his partner likes. He ensures he’s punctual in returning home, or at least that he communicates when he won’t be, and makes up for it, after. 

He holds him, when he wakes up distressed. Fingers in his hair, and murmurs. He learns what days are hard, and acts soft. He even tries to listen when Kylo complains, even if it’s about something he doesn’t understand. It matters to Kylo, so it’s important. 

When he has big decisions, he asks for help. Perhaps most wouldn’t see that as an act of love, but the admission is huge for him. He runs speeches past him, and offers his own advice. 

For the first time ever, he buys a name day gift. 

It’s there in all the smiles, touching fingers, or knowing nods. It’s there in the openness, which he’s never had before. 

It’s there when he asks Kylo to marry him, without ever mentioning love. 

He says yes, of course. 

That night, in the spreading afterglow, he says it for real. Kylo holds his face, and they exchange smiles that go on forever. 

“I knew. I love you, too.”

He says it a lot more, afterwards.


End file.
